My parents raised me, their oldest daughter, and my three sisters to love Jesus outside of much church influence. We learned about Bible stories, we prayed together, we were always encouraged to ask questions, we listened to Evangelical worship music, and we would consistently church hop. When I was young, I was rewarded for and often competed over Bible memorization through different church-sponsored programs. I know what the Bible teaches because I committed so much of it to memory in these formative years.

I remember a few experiences when I was little with kids at school who did not know who Jesus was. It was confusing to me, and I started to realize the world is a lot bigger and more diverse than I thought. I attended a private Christian high school. There, I learned in Bible classes and weekly chapels. I was a model student. I was active in the student council. I built positive mentor relationships with younger students. I tried various Bible studies, youth groups, and churches with my friends’ families. I started serving and leading on worship teams. Leading worship was hugely formative for my spiritual experiences of my faith.

If I were asked to pinpoint a conversion experience, I might call it more of a holy confirmation that Jesus had claimed me. I was 14 and wrapped up in an emotionally abusive and sexually coercive friendship. One morning, I was so miserable that I felt physically ill. I remember weeping and praying for peace and strength to get out of this situation. For the rest of that day, it felt like God was holding my heart as I went and told my mom everything and as I was given some harsh consequences at home and at school.

From that experience, I learned that God was with me and still loved me, but my faith community condemned me and hurt me deeply so I would learn a lesson. I learned that God’s love was unconditional. But the people of God showed me their love was fragile, and my position in the faith community could change drastically depending on my actions. 

I was invited to a missionary dinner at my Mormon grandparents’ house. Dinner conversation turned into a theological debate over the major differences between Mormonism and Christianity. I saw that we could have equally strong faiths in different things. Perhaps this is why I tend to be a universalist now, as I want to believe that all faithful connections with the Divine are important and valid. 

My early young adult years were difficult. I went to a private Christian university away from home. I struggled to get plugged into churches or ministries that I felt effective in. I floundered for a couple of years before finally moving back home and accepting a position in youth ministry. I deeply loved ministering to my students, but my husband and I struggled with the rigidity of conservatism in this church context. 

While struggling at this church, we got connected to a faith community that was so precious to me. This was a small group of people sharing life in a way that provided a safe space for exploration and self-assessment. This faith development was centered around emotional health and spiritual transformation, and that experience married those two practices for me theologically. As I leaned into that work in seminary, I resisted doing harm to my LGBTQ+ students who wanted to be loved. I lost my job for it. Then Spirit led me to the United Church of Christ. 

I have met so many faithful people in all of my contexts throughout my life. All these heroes poured so much into me, and I never asked for it. I saw Jesus in their faces. I want to show other people Jesus, no matter the context I exist within or position I hold. I believe that Jesus would put love at the forefront of what we pour into others. 

Statement of Faith

God, who Makes all things possible  – 

Jesus, who Modeled the way of Love – 

Spirit, who Molds and holds all of us in the interconnected sanctity of Life – 

All people are anointed, beloved, and empowered to co-create the world God dreams of. 

Amen.